“Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of—that’s the metric to measure yourself against. Your standards are. Winning is not enough. People can get lucky and win. People can be assholes and win. Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best possible version of themselves.” ― Ryan Holiday, Ego Is the Enemy
As evidenced by my post history, I have not written a post in weeks. Some of that has to do with spending over a month in Panama. Still, more is due to moving cities, changing jobs and buying a house. But if I am being frank those are all excuses. Even with all of the turmoil and change in my life philosophy should always have a role. Nevertheless, here I am.
As part of the transition of the last few months, I was able to achieve two things in my life. While I am proud of both, they are nothing dramatic. That said, in these victories, I discovered an important principle which I believe my Stoic mentors would have appreciated. While I was unable to find a direct discussion on the issues, I think Marcus Aurelius would have agreed with what I am about to say. I also feel the need to say that, while this may have the stench of narcissism, I only am discussing victories in order to illustrate a bigger truth. I am not attempting to self-aggrandize, as I hope becomes clear in the following paragraphs.
The first win was that I earned my Blue belt in Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu. It was the culmination a year’s worth of training, and the test itself was a battle. To be sure, I am proud of having done it. The second win was that I began training to be a Foreign Area Officer (FAO). My pursuit of the FAO position was the win that came at the end of a journey I began in 2014. I learned about the FAO program form a friend and knew first, that I wanted it, and second that it would not be easy. Earlier this year, the Air Force selected me. I began the training pipeline this week.
Good for me, right? Is my head big enough yet? Well in both cases, immediately after the achievement the dramatic reality struck me; that was the EASY part. The day after I got my belt, I went to class and was chocked out by a brown belt, and lost to a white belt. The belt had not given me powers. It had not made me stronger or faster. It certainly had not made be smarter. I realized that all it is only a stop on the journey.
I still have years, perhaps decades to go. Not only that but the only thing that truly changed is now the expectations are higher. I am expected to know what the hell I am doing. Don’t mistake my intention, I am proud of my belt, and I am ready to take the next steps on the journey. But it is not easier just because my belt is a different color. Quite to the contrary.
As if that lesson had not been stark enough, I began my training as a FAO the Monday after my test. The first part of the training is language training. Specifically for me, and an eventual Sub-saharan Africa FAO: French. I speak Spanish, I speak a smattering of French, and I have been preparing for this for 4 years. I’m ready right? I suppose I have forgotten how hard foreign languages are because a few hours into my first class I was struck by how little I knew and how far I had to go. Not only that, but I have three months to get to a level that it took me nearly 3 years to achieve in Spanish.
The selection as a FAO was a big deal to me. But nothing changed. I still have to learn the language, I still have 2 years of training before me. Even when that’s done, I will have zero real experience in the world of Foreign Affairs. Things didn’t get easier because of my new job. Quite the contrary.
There is nothing wrong with being proud of our accomplishments. Jenn and I went to dinner when I got FAO, and I made an Instagram post of my belt. But it is important we know that just because we get a win, the season is far from over. There’s always another fight, always more to learn, always more training to do. Even if I really have finished whatever the thing is, what’s next? How else can I get better? And until the day I stop breathing, I hope that I never take a win, and think to myself “Yep… I am good enough.” Instead, I hope to always have the fortitude to say ” Congratulations, Good job….. Now get to work”